Wednesday, May 19, 2010

thank.gawd.

Blaaaaahhhh.

That's how I feel right now.  (WARNING: this is a bitching post...)

Some of you are aware of all that's going on with me right now.  And for those of you that are not...here's a little rundown:

1) Since the hubs and I are both in school (I swear, 9+ of higher education, I should be the smartest effing person alive...), we live off of my salary and student loans...the lack of cash flow into our home causes me to hyperventilate every now and then, but somehow, D puts into perspective for me: "We pay our dues now, so we can play hard later.  Simple as that."  The fact is, we chose to go back to school (or in my case, continue through for a terminal degree), so I just need to suck it up, quit whining and get back to working on a paper...

2) which brings me to this one.  I found out while on vacation with Krissy in Virginia, that I did not pass my qualifying exams I had taken in January.  I needed to retake part 2 of them, which I am doing right now...it sucks having to do this again, but it's really not that bad, all I have to do is tweak part of my original proposal, but I have mini break downs thinking about this thing and the possibility of me not passing again which would then have some serious repurcussions because I couldn't continue in the program and the thought that I have put in 3 years to this thing to not be able to complete it would seriously cause me to go a little ape shit.  Whenever I get this crazy, the hubs will start calling me "Dr. Nuckolls" for a little extra push.  And I appreciate that so much.

3) Tatumbell is acting funny again, and I hover over him while he's sleeping and check to see if he's still breathing, and then I start crying that I'm even having to do that, and D reminds me that he always comes out of these little spells of his, and if he stays bad for an extended period of time, we'll go to the vet then, but not to continue to worry right now.

4) without going into too much detail, my dad's sick, and his whole situation is a daily battle of my (and everyone else in my family's) sanity.  Whenever it gets too much for me and I unload on D about it, he'll ask me to tell him a story about my dad when I was little.  This gets me out of that funk and helps me not to be so frustrated with it all.

So the moral of all this? 

I could not have all of this going on, and still be somewhat sane if not for my husband. 

I thank God every day (or I should) for giving me the perfect partner in life.  He balances out my crazy.  And somehow, makes it all seem okay.

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