Tuesday, September 28, 2010

21 or 31 years old?

When am I supposed to be an adult?

And at what point am I considered one?  Should I not be by now?

I am 31 years old, have one Masters degree, have a full-time job, own a home, married...

But I don't FEEL like an adult.

But I don't FEEL all that young anymore either.

Why I get confused that I am not again 21 years old:

• I don't have the energy to make it through an entire day without attempting a nap at some point...I did that in college too.

• With David and I both in school again, and living off of my paycheck and scholarships, I am constantly worried about our finances...also did that in college.

• Between class work, research projects, my real job, Phi Mu stuff, I have very little free time...again, very reminiscent of my undergraduate years...

• I live in a college town...in fact, the very same college town I went to college in...

• and because I live in a college town, anytime I order a drink at dinner or buy beer for a tailgate, I get carded.

• I find myself feeling out of style or fashion when surrounded by these tiny little college girls.  All my insecurities from when I was younger sometimes resurface.

How I know I am not 21 years old again:

• Those naps I want to take?  If I don't get one, I am in bed by 9pm.  In college, I would have just been cranky for a little while.

• In college, no one really had any money, so it wasn't a big deal if you were broke.  I shouldn't be now, right??

• I HATE getting carded.  I mean really, I am 10 years over the age limit, there is no way I look 21 years old, regardless of how much I want to believe that I actually do.

• I am so annoyed with what the college kids wear these days.  They look ridiculous. 

• We didn't really use the Internet in college.  Whoa, to write that out was a little scary...

• The girls going through recruitment this year were born in 1992.  I was 13 years old then and had already met some of the friends I still have now.  I.am.old.

• I used to love the bar scene.  Now I just want to sit on a back porch or at my tailgate with close friends and drink beer.  Wait in line to get in or get a beer?  Hell no.

Despite the lack of free time, money and fashion sense, I am happier now than I have been, possibly ever, in my life. 

And maybe that's how I know I am an adult now.

I am comfortable, content and all around pleased with this life I have somehow created for myself.

So I guess I really am a grown-up, huh?

But now I have to get back to studying for my management class, do some homework and then go work out at the Colvin Center later.

No, that's how I know I am older.

Pretty sure I barely went to the Colvin Center to do anything other than watch other people play basketball when I was in college...now, I gotta keep up with these youngsters...

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