Wednesday, July 20, 2011

No. THIS Sunday, Dad.

While I feel slightly guilty about making fun of my dad and I's phone conversations, it's not so guilty that I would not actually DO it...


This call occurred Monday evening.  He called me.


Me: Hi Dad.

Dad: Hi, sweeeetttttiiiimaaajiggggy.  (Dad is on several medications for his COPD, and sometimes, he takes a Lortab...this would be one of those times).

Me: Oh goodness.  Hi.

Dad: Hi there!

Me: Uh, you feeling okay?

Dad: Yup!  Just calling to see how the big move went!

Me: That hasn't happened yet.  This Sunday is when I'm moving everything out of the house to the storage unit.

Dad: Why did you change your mind on when you were moving?

Me: I didn't.

Dad: So then did you get everything moved?

Me: Sigh...no, Dad.  THIS Sunday is when I'm moving.  Not this last Sunday, THIS COMING SUNDAY.

Dad: Oh.  Do you still have stuff to move out?

Me: Yes, Dad, an entire house full of stuff.

Dad: Well, why did you not get it all moved?  Do you not have any help?  Have all your friends moved away or something?

Me: Yes.  Everyone has moved away.  But not me.  Cause I am moving this.coming.Sunday.

Dad: Hope you get some help!  Be sure to buy them beer for helping you move!

Me: Okay, Dad, I'm sure I can find a way to tha...

Dad: So what changed your mind on when to move?!

Me: I'm hanging up now.

Dad: Did I call your work number?  I love you, leeeetttllllewhippppersnnaaaaapppper!



Friday, July 8, 2011

Senile or sense of humor...? Hard to tell.

Actual conversation with my father, on my cell phone about the difference between my work number and cell phone number...my voice mail message on my cell says "You've reached Kelsey from the Daily O'Collegian..."  Apparently, this has left my father quite perplexed...


Uncle Pat: Kelsey?  I'm here with your father, and he is quite confused about which number he calls when he calls you.  Which number is this?

Me: This is my cell phone.  He doesn't have any other number of mine.

Uncle Pat: Well, he seems to think he's calling your work number.  Here, you talk to him.

Dad: KELSEY?!  Where are you right now?

Me: I'm at work right now, dad.

Dad: Well, I need to fix your number in my phone.  I don't know how I got your work number in here...

Me: You don't.  You called my cell number.

Dad: Well, how am I supposed to get a hold of you then?

Me: *facepalm*  Call THIS NUMBER, Dad.

Dad: But...how about I hang up and call you right back, and you tell me what number I called?

Me: Dad...you have basically already done this.  It's my cell phone, not work.

Dad: Okay, good, I'm going to call you right back and you tell me which number it is.

Me: Shit, fine, dad.

About six minutes later, I called him...


Me: Dad!  I thought you were going to call me right back so I could tell you that you had my cell number in your phone, not my work number??

Dad: Oh, did you want me to do that right now?

Me: Oh.my.gawd.  Yes, I did.  I'm at work, I don't have time for this.

Dad: But if you're at work, how are you talking to me right now?

Me: I can't do this.  I'm done.

Dad: I'm going to call you right back, and you tell me if I've called your work number or not.

Me: Dad, it's my cell phone, I promise.

Dad: Well, let me just see.

Again, five minutes pass...and then my cell phone rings...


Dad: Did I call your work number?

Me: No, dad, you called my cell phone.  You have the right number in there.

Dad: Well, let me write down your work number so I have it...

Me: No, dad.  You don't need that.

Dad: Well how am I supposed to get a hold of you when you're at work?

Me: I'M AT WORK RIGHT NOW AND YOU'RE TALKING TO ME.

Dad: On your cell number or work phone?

Me: I'm hanging up now.

Dad: Oh good cause Uncle Pat is still here and I need to visit with him instead of talking on the phone.